Even though Recorder31 2022 has come to a close, we would like to share some highlights from our recent Recorder31 Limerick Competition which have been pouring in over the past couple of weeks. Fantastic efforts all round! All entrants will receive a prize in their inboxes but click here to contact Alfie if you haven't.
A young garklein player from Dorking
Liked to practice her dark art while walking
By the time she reached home,
And three parrots had followed her squawking.
I bought a descant recorder
To learn; though I couldn't afford her,
Many notes were fluffed
As through practice I puffed
Now a treble recorder's on order.
There was a young man from the border
Who took up the tenor recorder
He played it all day
Then he gave it away
As his playing caused so much disorder
A recorder will need lots of puff
To be musical is just not enough
But when playing it, beware
That although it needs air
Blown too hard it will sound rather rough.
Whilst desperately practicing my Bach,
I heard my neighbours remark
“Oh please, no applause,
Go shut all the doors,
Switch the lights off and hide in the dark!”
I'd love to play tenor recorder,
But how can I ever afford'er?
But wait! There's a shop
Early music - the lot!
With prices so good I must order.
Descant, treble, tenor, bass.
Each of these when played with grace
Can sound sublime,
And over time
We come to love them face to face.
There was a young lady from Southwell
Who boasted her playing was swell.
The truth of the matter
Amongst those who natter
Was her playing had come straight from hell!
To play the recorder's a talent
It's not something found very frequent.
So do not delay
Practice ev-er-y day,
Making most of the gift that God sent.
A certain recordist from Newport
Was placed under caution for disport
She claimed her embrace
Was meant for her bass
But the cops said she misconstrued "consort."
The descant recorder, says Jenny,
Is unjustly hated by many.
They played it at school,
Which just was not cool
So, they sold them to me for a penny.
The recorder when played by a child,
Is seldom tender and mild.
But if you keep going
And increase your knowing,
You can ne’ertheless be beguiled.
Oh, come learn recorder with me
And after a month you will see,
That though you are lazy
And you teacher is crazy,
You’ll play for me G A and B.
There once was a plastic recorder
That was bought by an instrument hoarder.
Many slurs did abound
For its colour and sound,
But the hoarder called them all to order.
There once was a woman called Cecily
Who played the recorder quite messily
Her problem: she lingered
On notes that she’d fingered
And held their durations excessively.
There’s a condition we call RAS*
And recorderists all acquiesce
That just to acquire
N plus one should be higher
Because one more at each pitch is best
*Recorder Acquisition Syndrome
Today at Recorder31, we are inviting entries for the Recorder31 Limerick Competition. Consult your rhyming dictionaries and send us your best efforts on social media or by email to email@example.com!
Winners will be announced at the end of the month with prizes available for our favourites.